


Growing Up

by Simply_Another_Writer



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Flushed Romance | Matesprits, M/M, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Pale-Red Vacilliation, Quadrant Vacillation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-29
Updated: 2013-08-29
Packaged: 2017-12-25 01:09:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/946848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Simply_Another_Writer/pseuds/Simply_Another_Writer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is one more sweep left until the drones come for the new adults in Alternia. Karkat and Gamzee worry about what will happen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Growing Up

**Author's Note:**

> I... actually wanted to try my hand at smut. Originally it was meant to be only smut, but I'm apparently incapable of writing something without giving it a more concrete story.
> 
> Oh, well...

> Be Karkat

Your name is Karkat Vantas.

You're staring at your reflection inside the ablution block, giving yourself a critical eye.

You're thin. Not that that was any news, you've always been fucking skinny. Add that to the fact that you were smaller than most trolls and you had someone that definitely did not seem could survive until the eight sweeps you have. It was really a wonder you had not been culled simply on account that no other troll would probably want to mate with you for how undesirable you were.

Still, you had survived, and you were almost considered an adult now. That was something that every one of your friends was excited about, becoming adults. Except there was a issue for you on that matter.

The problem was that you were never meant to last to adulthood. You had mutant blood. A blood that wasn't found anywhere in the hemospectrum. Technically, you were never supposed to be born. You gave a short, harsh laugh. If others thought Tavros had self-esteem issues, try having the fact you were going to die in one more sweep over your head.

That was always in your mind though, how couldn't it be? The question of what you were going to do when the drones finally did come looking for you was imminent, specially lately. You remember that when you were smaller your goal had always been of becoming a threshecutioner. It was a wriggler's dream, but a dream nonetheless. As the sweeps went by however, you realized that no matter how good you became with the sickle, you would never be allowed to be even prove yourself.

Death had always been your companion. Loneliness had always been your friend.

But then, of course, life liked proving you wrong. So why not prove you wrong on that too?

terminallyCapricious [TC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

TC: HeEy, BeSt FrIeNd. HoW iS mY bEsT bRo DoInG?  
TC: :o)  
CG: GOGDAMMIT GAMZEE. YOU AND YOUR PAN ACHING ALTERNATING TEXT!

Out of all your friends Gamzee has been the only one to know of your blood color. It had been an accident, really, but when at five sweeps old he had seen the brightness of your blood you remember you had the most terrifying thoughts going across your head.

You two had always been friends, even through your anger and his addiction, your friendship had never faltered. Still, Gamzee was a purple blood, a descendant of subjugglators, the very trolls responsible for culling all those that didn't fit the Alternian system.

You remember staring at the accidental cut and trying your hardest to not run or look at Gamzee's face. Then Gamzee had grabbed your arm and had taken a bit of your blood. He had stared at it with the most unreadable expression, then he said the words that you would never forget.

_“Miracle... I knew you were a miracle, but I had not the knowledge you had it running through your veins...”_

At that moment you had exhaled a breath that felt you had been holding your entire life. Needless to say you two became moirails that very night, and Gamzee had succeeded whatever expectation you had of yourself because you never thought you'd ever be able to fill a quadrant, a flushed quadrant nonetheless, no matter how many nightdreams you had on the matter.

Sweeps kept passing though and both of you grew worried the older you became. Until the night finally came that you turned eight which meant that in merely one more sweep the ships would be coming to pick up the new adults and an extra shipment of drones would come with them to execute the few trolls that needed culling.

Gamzee came to your hive that night. Crabdad had been away for the longest time yet and he knew that you would be alone. As soon as you had opened the door he took you in his arms and begin to cry, burying his face in your hair.

He had a horrorterror, he'd said, one where you were being tortured by the older trolls and you were bleeding your miracle blood everywhere and that when he had tried to protect you, he had simply been pushed back and laughed at as they kept cutting into you and making you scream.

It had taken you a long time to calm him down, and in the end both of you were laying on your couch with you being half draped over him, still being hugged as tightly as before. That was when Gamzee finally said what you knew he'd wanted to say for some time.

_“Karbro... Karkat, come live with me, please? I won't... I can't... I can't have you far away. I want you close to me. Please?”_

_“Gamzee, I don't think you'll be able to stop the culling drones. You know that I can't hide forever.”_

_“I-I know, motherfucker, I know. But still, at least the drones wouldn't come looking for you. And... and you'd be with me...”_

It was his voice that had done it, so pleading and small. Or maybe his face? His eyes filled with pain he had imagined. You don't really know and you don't even fucking care. You had accepted his offer and had moved in before the perigee was over.

As it turned out moving in had been the best thing for both of you. Gamzee was ecstatic the whole time, his grin never leaving his face for more than a second. You knew how lonely he could get being here by himself, and although sometimes you came to visit and stayed for more than two nights, you would always have to go back and Gamzee would be left alone again.

Now you were here and you helped Gamzee clean up his place. You had more control over what he ate so that while he had been slowly leaving his pies, he now was completely off them. You had helped him when his rage had settled in and the voices had made him try to hurt you and your other friends. You were always more than willing to help him.

And he in turn helped you.

You couldn't deny that Gamzee helped you as much as you helped him. It wasn't just because he had offered his hive to you, but it was his mere presence. His charismatic smile and his easy going attitude that helped you not pop the veins in your head and pull at your hair as much as you used to.

You'd always had a problem with stress. The combination of the possibility of being culled at any second, the fact that you would probably be alone for what remained of your life, the fact that you had no idea how long you had to live because you had no idea where you were in the hemosprectrum, and finally the fear that no matter what really ended up happening, the fact was you would probably never be allowed to leave Alternia and that everyone you knew would probably leave you.

Gamzee had effectively snuffed out almost all of those fears. Living with him reminded you that you were not alone, that someone liked you enough to not mind spending the majority of their time with you. The hemospectrum seemed to never matter when it was just the two of you, and whenever Gamzee wrapped his arms around you and whispered small noises of comfort you didn't care about how long you had to live because at least you were spending your moments with him.

You didn't even think about the possibility that you might develop redder feeling for him.

Yet redder feelings still came.

They weren't well thought out feelings. Just that you liked having his arms around you a bit more than you should, that you liked feeling his breath near you, that you liked caressing his skin and that you wished you could caress just a bit more than it was really allowed...

… And maybe that his laugh made more than the pale part of your bloodpusher flutter.

Then one morning, when you were both getting ready to sleep, you caught Gamzee looking at you strangely. Neither of you had your shirt on, both going about getting more comfortable for rest. Gamzee had said nothing, but he had walked to you and had enveloped you in a tight embrace.

You flushed and tried not to think about just how much you liked feeling his skin on yours. Instead you asked what was the matter.

“Nothing at all, best friend, just felt like getting my best bro in a hug.”

Gamzee went to his recuperacoon then, and again he had an unreadable expression on his face. You went to yours, but were not been able to sleep. Instead you just tried remembering how nice his cold skin had felt on yours and spent your day thinking about Gamzee in ways you knew was wrong for a moirail to think.

But unfortunately, your feelings were not the only pressing issue at the time. Perigees came and went and the nervousness around the hive increased with every night that passed. The sweep was coming to an end and Gamzee seemed to be clinging to you even more. At one point he took you to a pile made up of your old sweaters and his old shirts.

You two spoke about the rumors that the ships were already coming. There had been excited whispers everywhere. All of the trolls from your hatching period had grown with only some not making it to adulthood. They were all preparing, everyone already saying their farewells to their lusus (Crabdad had come many times to visit and you knew he was as worried as you about the ships. Gamzee's had never shown up after you had moved in.)

You also talked about Gamzee and his whole role in the migration. Gamzee was an important troll, even if he never once acted like it. He was the direct descendant from the Grand Highblood, you knew that if there was anyone that would be taken it would be him. Gamzee knew it too and he had the most pained expression as you two spoke about it. Your head was in the crook of his neck and you couldn't help the raw pity you felt for him at that moment. You leaned your head back so that you were able to kiss the side of his chin.

Gamzee buried his face on your hair and held you tighter.

Then the conversation moved on to the most serious matter. What would happen to you once the drones came knocking?

If Gamzee left, you would be left alone. All of your friends and acquaintances would be gone, even Tavros since Equius had reconstructed his legs. If you survived the migration from Alternia to the Empress' army, then all that would be left for you to do was to live out your days, still trying to not be caught because adults were not allowed in Alternia.

You didn't know how long the Mother Grub waited until laying new eggs. You could be here alone until your time was up, or you could be surrounded by wigglers as soon as everyone had cleared out of the planet. Drones would still be plentiful and watchful.

At this point surviving seemed just as terrifying as dying.

You shuddered in Gamzee's arms and started panicking, your old fears of solitude and uncertainty surfacing with full force. You didn't want to be left alone! You didn't want Gamzee to leave you, you didn't want stay alone in Alternia, you didn't want see the ships leave knowing that he was there and that there was nothing you could do about it.

You didn't want to die.

You didn't want to live.

You started crying brokenly in Gamzee's shirt. It was horrible. Why did this have to happen to you? Why didn't you just get culled in the caves as soon as the Mother Grub had seen your color? Why couldn't you just have died when you were younger? It would have been so much easier that way, it would have been so much simpler.

But then you felt wetness in you hair and when you looked up you saw that Gamzee was crying too, purple tears falling from his face. He kissed your hair, and your forehead, and your cheeks, and he shook his head and asked you to never repeat that because he wouldn't be able to stand it. You not existing was his worst fear. You not being somewhere in the world was torture. You not being with him was just wrong.

And again that flushed part of your bloodpusher fluttered.

You wanted to tell him what you felt, but you were too much of a fucking coward to actually do it. What if he didn't feel the same? You would be throwing away the best thing that had ever happened to you. Gamzee was the only good that your miserable life had given you, you didn't want loose him. You wouldn't be able to stand it.

But... apparently you weren't the only one whose bloodpusher had reacted.

Gamzee kissed you again, closer to your mouth. His lips hovered there almost silently asking some kind of question.

“Karkat, I...” 

He faltered and simply shook his head. Gamzee grabbed your chin, and gently lifted your face to meet his. You both stared at each other, taking in the look in each other's eyes. You nodded at him, nervous, excited, sad, happy, and he leaned down to take your lips in his.

You closed your eyes and let sensation take over. His lips were chapped and cold, but they felt perfect for you. It was a simple kiss at first, only a meeting of lips. Gamzee started to move them though and you moved along with him, and the sensation increased even more. After about a minute of just caressing each other's lips Gamzee pulled back slowly.

“I think... I motherfucking feel more than just flushed for you...” He says, and he chuckles softly, but nervously.

You turn your head to look at him. “Join the fucking club.” And you give him the smallest of smiles. 

His face split into one of the most sincere smiles you had ever seen on him and you felt a tight squeeze in your bloodpusher. Then his hand cupped the back of your neck, still as gently as you knew he could be, and guided your face again, this time with more purpose. His lips met yours again and his tongue decided to make an appearance, licking your lower lip. You responded by opening your mouth just enough for him to slip his eager member past your lips.

You felt nervous. No matter how many movies you had watched where two trolls had kissed, you were not prepared by how much you were feeling right now as you were having your first sloppy make out. Gamzee seemed okay with whatever was happening though, so you just continued sucking at his lips, and letting your tongue play with his as well.

Your hands were resting in his chest, but soon you were moving them and wrapping them around Gamzee's waist, pulling him even closer. Gamzee's own hands had started wandering your body and you felt minibumps rise on your skin as they traveled.

Gamzee then left your lips and started kissing your jaw leading to your neck. A quite moan had left you then and you blushed, you had never heard yourself moan before. Gamzee liked it though as it was apparent by the way he continued kissing and licking your neck and was apparently trying to make you moan even more and maybe even louder.

He succeeded in both.

Then his cold fingers were brushing your skin underneath your sweater and you gasped in surprise. Gamzee stopped and he looked at you questioningly. You nodded again and leaned in to kiss him full on the lips again. Gamzee's hands traveled along your belly, to your chest, to your vestigial leg scars. You shivered on the last one, another moan escaping your lips, interrupting the kiss.

You decided that you wanted to touch too. And your hands also went underneath Gamzee's shirt and started traveling the same way his had traveled. He shivered just the same and finally you heard him moan in pleasure as your fingers caressed his scars.

The kisses were becoming a lot more incoherent and Gamzee pressed himself more on you. You felt something move in between you and you tried not thinking about it too much. It embarrassed you as much as it excited you.

Finally it seemed that Gamzee had had enough of your sweater and with another look for permission, he took it off in one swift move. He didn't waste any time, his lips went down to your collar bone and had started kissing all the skin that had been previously covered. You were breathing harder now and you had started to feel your own bulge unsheathe.

Your hands grabbed the hem of his shirt and lifted. Gamzee stopped kissing for the short moment that the shirt went over his head and horns. He then changed his position so that he was almost on top of you. He kept kissing your neck and pressed both of your chests together. You sighed happily. It felt so good to have him this close to you. It felt right.

Soon his hips had fallen on yours and you felt his bulge moving underneath his pants. He rocked against you and you followed his movement, your own bulge moving against his. Both of you moaned and whimpered and purred as you pressed each other's bulges and they tried seeking each other. Gamzee at one point slowed his movement and instead pressed more. You think you saw lights.

Then you became bold and your hands traveled down his belly until they found Gamzee's pants. They undid the knot that held them and became loose. Gamzee helped you take them off and you saw that his underwear was already stained purple. Gamzee followed your example as he undid the button of your pants. Your own boxers became caught on them so in the end they also came off with them.

Gamzee stopped kissing to look. You blushed brighter than you had even remembered blushing. He was looking at your red stained bulge with so much admiration. You felt very self conscious of yourself and swallowed as his eyes went to meet yours. Then he closed the distance again and kissed you deeply and more passionately than before.

You felt suddenly cold and you gasped as his fingers closed in around your bulge. It writhed and twisted in his hand and you whimpered with pleasure. He begin playing with it and you panted as he moved his face closer to it. You felt his breath and before you knew it his tongue was licking your fluid from it.

You moaned loudly and whimpered his name. Gamzee responded by driving you crazy with pleasure. He licked from the very tip to the sheath, lightly passing his tongue along the ridges. You grabbed his horns, an easy thing to do with how big they were, and pressed yourself to him. He kissed the inside of your thighs and rubbed your bulge with his hand. You couldn't stand how much you were feeling. It felt as if you were about to burst! At any moment! Any moment! Any–

_“Gamzee!”_

A rush of pleasure filled you as you released your material, you panted loudly. You didn't even blush when you saw Gamzee's chest covered in your material. He had apparently moved his face away from the explosion, but that had been as far as he went.

But you didn't think it was fair for him to do everything, so with your hold on his horns, you pulled him back down to you. He looked surprised by that, but you were determined he was going to feel just as good as you did.

You maneuvered him to lay down on the pile and you saw as his eyes changed from surprise to waiting excitement. You kept your eyes locked as you went down and close to his own bulge. He still had his underwear on, but now it was practically dripping wet.

You take it off and his bulge comes out, desperate, waiting for pleasure. Then your hand closes around it and you hear Gamzee sigh in happiness. You begin to rub, trying to control the writhing member. You feel a bit uncertain about what you're about to do, but you get close anyway.

Your tongue comes out and Gamzee moans even louder. You begin to lick the length of his bulge, curling your tongue around it and trying to tickle it and rub it only using your wet member. You kiss the whole length of it and suck very gently. You let your lips close in at the very tip of it and hum. Gamzee's hips buckle and he whimpers your name loudly. You do this once more and Gamzee seems to go crazy for it. 

Then you lift yourself so that your hip is almost level with his. For the first time you feel your bulge touch Gamzee's and both of you moan loudly. Gamzee grabs you by the hair and gently brings you down for a kiss. You both taste each other as your bulges curl around each other multiplying the pleasure by so much more.

Gamzee finally seems to be at his limit and without a warning he finally screams in pure pleasure, his own material shooting out into your bulge and the pile of shirts. He is far from done though as he takes hold of your hips and encourages you to stay there.

Then his bulge finds your nook and you can't help cry out.

“Gamzee...! _Please._ ” 

He changes your positions again and he is now on top again. Gamzee looks into your eyes and then leans down to catch your lips again. His mouth gets close to your hear ducts.

Gamzee then brings his hips down and your bulges start playing with each other again, except that this time they don't get as much time. Gamzee grabs your bulge and starts rubbing up and down, as he does this he takes his own bulge and carefully places the tip in your nook.

You gasp with pleasure and try to push in with your own hips. Gamzee gives a soft laughter and slowly starts to ease into you. You feel yourself be filled with Gamzee's bulge and it feels so good.

Then Gamzee starts to move and his own movement along with his bulge's movement intensify the feeling so much that you think you won't last long. He's panting and growling softly as he moves and you're moaning and purring with all the pleasure.

His movements go from fast to slow to hard to soft and you don't even know what sounds either of you are making when you fill that both of you are at that point. And sure enough, after one final thrust inside both you and Gamzee scream as pleasure over takes you. Gamzee fills you with his material and you spray him with yours.

You grab one of the still clean shirts around and clean the red in Gamzee's chest as best as you can with how tired you feel. Gamzee falls next to you panting, but with a big smile on his face.

Then you move and lay down on top of him and Gamzee wraps his arms around you again. Both of you looked at each other...

… And you begin to laugh.

You don't know why you two are laughing, but it feels so good to just laugh with him. His chest moves with his laughter and in turn it bobs you up and down, and for some reason that makes you laugh even more. You both laugh until finally your bellies hurt you can't laugh anymore.

And without warning your eyes begin to sting.

You have a matesprit now. Your moirail is your mateprit. The ships were approaching and with them came the culling drones. Gamzee couldn't stay. You couldn't leave.

You laid your head down in the crook of Gamzee's neck, sniffing quietly and staining him with more red. Gamzee petted your hair and he shooshed you as he also rubbed circles on your back.

“Karkat... I ain't gonna leave you. You know that, right”

“You can't promise me that.”

“But I am,” Gamzee made you look at him and you could see the determination in his eyes, “I'm promising you, right here, right at this motherfucking moment, I ain't gonna let 'em separate us.”

He kissed your forehead in a way that made you close your eyes for the comfort it gave you, “I couldn't survive out there without you.”

You kept your eyes closed and simply let the sensations overtake you. His claws, lightly scratching your head. His chest going up and down rhythmically, the vibrations you felt whenever he talked. You kissed his neck softly and hovered there for a second.

“Me neither,” You whispered into the warmth.

You laid your head back down and finally let the emotional exhaustion overtake you. You didn't know if the end of the sweep would mean your death, or if it would mean the start of your solitude. Maybe it would mean something else entirely, if Gamzee really did figure out how to stay together.

All you knew is that this, this is what you wanted. Being with Gamzee, talking to him, kissing him, it was everything you needed at this moment.


End file.
